S’occuper l’esprit

Most fearful fliers say they are control freaks. But are we secretly escape freaks as well? A session with a client last week gave me a new look at escape. The client said he used meditation to control his thoughts. In my view, meditation should be used - not to close the mind - but to open the mind and become accepting of whatever comes to mind. The idea of using meditation to push certain thoughts away strikes me as escape.

We humans have many ways to seek refuge from unwanted thoughts and feelings. Some of us stay busy at one task after another to keep the mind so occupied that there is no room for an unwanted thought to push its way in. Some of us talk non-stop. We stay occupied with banal chatter. Since banal chatter is not interesting, why we do it? Because it serves a purpose. Non-stop talk blocks any moment of silence in which a disturbing thought could arise.

And, of course, there is alcohol. It's unhealthy to drink heavily, but staying drunk keeps what isn't wanted out of the mind.

When a person uses a ritual to stay occupied, their behavior may be diagnosed as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). But any behavior that is done to keep spontaeous thoughts out of mind is a form of OCD.

OCD is a way of trying to prevent the release of stress hormones by the amygdala. We might want to know what is so awful about stress hormones. Why must they be avoided? Stress hormones could remind us of a traumatic experience. Or, the person lacks the mental software to calm down. Lacking the ability to calm down, the person seeks to control what happens and avoid unwanted thoughts, all so that nothing triggers the release of stress hormones.

Therapist and theoretician Edna Foa uses a therapy she calls "Prolonged Exposure Therapy" to rein in the need to control and escape by intentional exposure to what the person believes they must control and escape, such as awareness of a traumatic event.

That's one way, and there is research that shows it is effective. The other way is to fix what's broken: the mental software that can activate the calming system. That's what my new book, Panic Free, is designed to do. The title is Panic Free and you can find it on Amazon, and at Barnes & Noble online at in their stores.